Archive for April, 2010

What do you plan on doing this weekend with your spouse? This weekend we will going to Morro Bay. Every year they have a car show right around this time. They close down some of the main streets and have the cars are parked on both sides. We can walk down the middle of the street to view them. My husband loves cars.  We even have a 1967 Camaro in the garage with a bunch of parts ready to be put in it and one of these days he will be putting it together.

Now I am not a fan of car shows but I know Larry enjoys going to them so I made sure I found out when it was being held. What I do enjoy doing is walking around with him and watching him tell me all about the cars. Sometimes they will have vendors selling, jewelry, candles and make-up. This is what I like to call a great car show. But the most important thing is Larry is enjoying himself and we are together. Morro Bay is a beautiful little community overlooking the beach, with quaint shops and great restaurants. After viewing the all the cars we will go out to eat lunch, maybe a bowl of clam chowder and then walk along the embarcadero and go into some of the shops.

You don’t always have to do things you both enjoy. When you go with your partner to see something you are not into you are saying I respect you and enjoy being with you no matter what we do. Didn’t you do that when you were dating? Just because you are married now doesn’t mean you have to stop.  It is fun to see your sweetheart enjoying his or her passion. I am lucky enough to have a partner who doesn’t mind doing something I like to do even though it isn’t his thing.

I think I will surprise him with a little toy car and put it on the drivers seat in our car. When we get into it there will be a note that says…. “I would like to rev up your motor tonight”….just a little something for him to think about all day as we look at the cars.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

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Sometimes just the little things mean a lot, particularly when it communicates your feelings. What better place to communicate your feelings to your sweetheart than your bedroom.

Your bedroom should be a “kid-free and pet-free zone” – It should be your sanctuary for the two of you to go to and feel close. When you allow your children and/or pet to sleep with you there is no private time to share. I have always wondered how you can have an intimate relationship when your kids or pet is sleeping in the same bed with you and your spouse. You are putting your children and/or pet in front of your marriage. It is my belief that your relationship should be before your children or animals. A happy marriage makes for happy children. A dysfunctional marriage makes for dysfunctional children.

Our daughter once in a while wanted to sleep with us but she wanted to sleep on the end not in the middle but we insisted she sleep in the middle. We had a technique we called the “The Sandwich Squeeze.” She would get in the middle and we would gradually roll toward the middle and squeeze her out. She really didn’t like sleeping with us because as she said it “She didn’t like to be squished.” We didn’t say no to her sleeping with us, we just helped her to make the decision that she preferred sleeping in her own bed.

Don’t allow your children to bring toys into your room. This is an adult space not the children’s playroom. Setting the ground rules early will help to keep your bedroom clutter free and your children playing in another room. You and your husband should be able to walk into your room and not be tripping over toys. Picture this, you and your husband are walking into the bedroom and one of you trips on a toy and hurts their foot. Honestly, do you have that “loving feeling” anymore?

Don’t get me wrong we would let our daughter come into our bedroom and climb into bed with us but it was usually a Saturday or Sunday morning after we were awake and we would play with her. But toys and animals were off limits in our room.

To me animals and kids can take away your spontaneous feelings of love. Another reason for make your bedroom yours. Remember it communicates how you feel about your relationship with your spouse.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

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The Kimpton Hotels is having a special right now if you are an In Touch Member. They are asking you to go green by riding the rails. If you take Amtrak you will receive 15% off their best available rate with proof of train ticket when you check in. This offer is good now through 2010.

What a fun and relaxing thing to do! Go back in time, sit back and relax, enjoy the scenery, reduce your carbon footprint and lower your stress level. Just you and your sweetheart enjoying the train ride as you talk, read and relax. You could even bring a picnic lunch to enjoy together.

I chose to look at going to San Diego by train as an example. Leaving from Guadalupe, CA and arriving in downtown San Diego. Here is the breakdown:

Amtrak

2 Business Class Seats                              $124.00

Kimpton Hotel – Hotel Solamar

2 Nights ($144.00 per night)                $432.00
Tax                                                                        54.30
Total                                                                $610.30

Here is what I would need to save per week: $610.30 / 52 weeks = $11.74

Anything is possible, even a romantic weekend away with your sweetheart on the train.  Check out the Amtrak website and the Kimpton Hotels and see if you can find a better deal than I did.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

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So you think you know everything about each other. If you want to keep things new and fresh why not get to know each other all over again. After being married for so long don’t you know your spouse better than most people? Well you probably do but you can make it feel fresh again.

Choose a new up to date song that is special to both of you – Your first song will always be special to you both. It is “your song.” But did you know you can get that special feeling when you find a new song every few years. Search on line together if you can’t think of anything. Because you have more than one song that has been added through the years every time you hear your special songs you will both bring back that “loving feeling.”

Find your unique code – The next time you are going out why not create your own language or a sign that only the two of you know. Touch the tip of your nose to say “I love you” when you are in a crowd. Or your earlobe to say “Lets make love.” Learn the sign language for “I love you.” You will feel more intimate when you use them and it will make you feel closer to each other. The best part is you and your sweetheart will be the only ones who know what the other is saying.

Choose a new nickname – You may already have a nickname for each other but finding a new one is another way to add a sense of newest to your long term romance. Keep the old one but add a new one to your vocabulary every so often. Nicknames are usually silly and by adding a new name you add another dimension of playfulness. Try to choose something that makes both of you laugh.

Whether you choose a new song, find your unique code, choose a new nickname or do all three you will have a sense of newness and intimacy though out the years of your marriage that most couples don’t have.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

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Success in a marriage seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let have go. Keep saving your $5 a week.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

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Do you have plans this weekend to do something with your sweetheart but can’t think of anything to do? If the weather allows why not take a walk outside together. It is one of the best ways to brighten your mood and when you are happy you can have a positive outlook on your relationship. So even if it is cold outside put on your hiking boots or walking shoes throw on your jackets and have a nature walk together.

Did you know people who took an outdoor nature walk, even on cold days, were happier afterward in comparison to people who walked in a shopping mall? With today’s economy and money is tight when you walk in a mall you are reminded of the things you would like to have but can’t afford which can make you tense and lower your self-esteem. Plus the noise level in a mall is high and that can be stressful too.

When you are outdoors walking you feel less tense and you will have a jump in self-esteem. Walking, holding hands and listening to the music of nature, the wind blowing through the trees, birds singing, the sound of the ocean on the horizon, with seagulls flying or the sound of the lake lapping on the dock. It is beautiful music to our ears and totally free. You will both feel more relaxed and will enjoy your time together.

In addition to walking, you could try ice skating, sledding or building a snowman if you live where there is snow. If you don’t live where it snows why not go to the beach or lake and build a sandcastle, go rollerblading or biking.

Get outside with your sweetheart, hold hands, walk arm in arm. You both will be less tense and feel good about your relationship. With all the stress in life it is important to find ways to have that feel good feeling together. It does a relationship good.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

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Quick: When was the last time you let your spouse know the good things you are thinking about them?  Did you know most people don’t show their appreciation and respect for each other? If you aren’t saying “Thank You,” “Great Idea,” “You look great” or “I like the way you did that” then you are not showing the respect your relationship deserves and needs.

Studies show 57% of us routinely neglects to share positive thoughts to the ones we love. Did you know the number one indicator of a long and happy marriage is showing appreciation and respect? It is interesting we will say thank you to strangers but often don’t say those two little words to the most important people in our lives.

Even the tiniest bit of appreciation can make the difference between an OK relationship and a great one. An emotionally strong marriage is built on the respect and appreciation you show to one another. Start today by saying those feel good words and the good feelings will flow and spill over into every area of your relationship!

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

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Did you know you can boost your romantic feelings with food? There has been some new research proving certain foods can send your desires surging. So why not boost that romantic feeling over dinner?  Scientists are now recommending these foods for your enjoyment.

You can get that steamy feeling with asparagus because it has a plant chemical protodioscin. It is known to boost arousal. Know wonder Larry and I like asparagus. I think I will serve it tonight for dinner!

You can bring on the excitement with pomegranate spritzers. UCLA scientists say the juice of this fruit is high in antioxidants which can increase blood flow throughout the veins…… the same way Viagra works when you take it. Oh my! Looks like we will be having pomegranate spritzers every night.

Did you know if you eat dark chocolate  it activates attraction? If you consume at least one cube of dark chocolate daily you will experience more desire and you will enjoy lovemaking more than those who don’t eat dark chocolate? Another reason to keep Dove dark chocolate around the house. Yum!

Why not do your own research by cooking up a little romance with these foods one evening. Serve the pomegranate spritzers before dinner. Then have asparagus along with a piece of grilled chicken or fish. Remember when you are planning romance keep dinner lite. For dessert serve a piece of dark chocolate. Who knows you may not be able to keep your hands off each other!

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

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Are you going through difficult times right now? Have you lost your job and/or home? Are you having problems with your marriage? Like so many people do you feel you will never get out of the hole you are in? Then you need to read “The Noticer” by Andy Andrews. After reading this book you will have a different look on things.

The author, Andy Andrews, weaves a tale with some truth to it. It is about a young man and an older gentleman named Jones. He writes about a town he lives in and real people who live and work there but it is a fictional story. There is a lot of self-help written into a very interesting story.

It is about how we all look at our lives……perspective. The book teaches you that no matter how bad things get in life it is about how we look at it. Last week I told you to read “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, well in “The Noticer” there is a chapter where “The Noticer” helps a couple find perspective which helped saved their marriage. Andy writes about the four different personalities of in a marriage which is very similar to the book by Gary Chapman but Andy puts it into a little more humors perspective.

After reading “The Noticer,” you will look at your life and marriage in a different light. This is a book you will read again and again and want to share with other people. I will be loaning it to our daughter, Denise, now that I have told you about it.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

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How you deal with your in marriage today will determine the state of your marriage in the future. Keep saving your $5 a week for your anniversary getaway.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

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