Surprise Kiss

Posts Tagged ‘family’

In Oct of 2010 I wrote this blog and thought it was worth revisiting. We all need to be reminded to take time out.

Are you and your spouse stressed out from the daily grind of work and responsibilities of life? Spend some time outside. Did you know just spending time outside can increase the production of endorphins, which can help you feel less stressed.

After dinner don’t sit down and just jell out. Get up and take a walk with the whole family and watch the sunset. No phones or technology allowed during your walk. It is amazing how sunsets are daily occurrences and we don’t even stop to look at them. We are always in such a rush to get things done.

Make it a point to hold hands with your sweetheart and watch the sunset tonight with the whole family while you take a walk. If the children want to hold your hand too, make them grab the hand that is free. Don’t release your hand from your spouse. Your children need to see and feel the strength of your marriage.

Walking together and watching the sunset will help to relax the whole family and will bring everyone closer to each other. It gives everyone an opportunity to talk with none of the distractions of TV, video games or texting.

When you walk back into your home you will all feel a relaxing glow from watching a sunset together that will last until the next day!

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

***My free eBook is coming soon! Be on the lookout for it and when it comes out you can be one of the first to get it. ***

“Your marriage is a gift from God; how you treat it is a gift to him.”

© 2013, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

I published this in 2010 and recently was telling a friend about how we dealt with having a teenager in your life. My friend loved the idea and planned on doing the same thing. It got me thinking you would enjoy hearing about it too.

Do you have teenage children? Are they driving you a little crazy and you can’t agree with your spouse on how to handle a particular situation with your teen? I remember those days well. Larry sometimes would be very upset about something our daughter had done and I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. And then there were the times I was upset and he wasn’t. Do you argue in front of the kids until you find a solution? We found a way to come to an agreement without our daughter hearing us. How did we do it?

It was our daughter’s responsibility to clear the dishes and put them in the dishwasher after dinner. That’s when we would go for a walk and argue it out. There were no ears to hear and she couldn’t play us against each other. It was good not only for our relationship but it was good for our health too. If we were really upset about something she had done we would walk really fast.

As we walked we would talk about how a situation should be handled. There were times when one of us felt we needed to be hard on her and after discussing it the other would say you are right it’s not that important and then there were times after a discussion we would agree together we were not happy with her. These walks taught us how to pick our battles with what was really important in raising our child.

When we walked back in the door we would stand strong together. She had a hard time pushing our buttons. What she got was a strong mother and father who didn’t let her go between them. She knew when she was in trouble and there was no getting out of it. She was taught responsibility for her actions which has turned her into a responsible and productive adult today.

So the next time you and your husband aren’t agreeing on how the children should be raised go for a walk and work it out. Your children will thank you later in life and you will keep the sanity in your marriage.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2013, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

Do you have a love story about you and your sweetheart you would like to share? Then you will want to head straight to Bedheadpjs.com and tell them your story by Feb 8th, 2013. They want to hear about your love story between you and your spouse, friend, children or family and you might win a very nice pajama set.

BedHeadPJS.com is having a contest were you get the opportunity to share with them your love story and if your story is chosen you will win a Love Letters PJ. Most importantly you story will be featured on BedHeadPJS.com’s blog for their followers to read!

Guys do you want to make points with your sweetheart? Then write your love story about the love of your life. Who knows you might end up with a very nice pair of pajamas for your sweetie pie.

Ladies don’t be shy share you love story with BedHeadPJS and those cute Love Letters PJs might just become yours
.
What a very romantic thing to do is to share your very special love story with Bedhead Pajamas and their followers.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo
2/1/13

© 2013, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

I bet you thought I forgot about you? Larry & I just got back on a whirlwind trip to DC and New York compliments of our daughter, Denise and her husband, Tom. We were able to stay for 10 days and Tom flew in on the 2 weekends we were there. We saved our money for all other incidentals, food, tours, etc. while we were there. We had an absolute blast!

Denise is currently living and working in Arlington, VA while Tom is still living in Nipomo, CA. They make it a point to either meet in DC or Nipomo every other weekend and Denise travels for work quite a bit too. They are racking up points in airline miles which allowed us to fly for free and stay at Denise’s beautiful two bedroom apartment for free.

DC is a beautiful clean place with lots to do, free museums, historic places to see and great restaurants. They have a fabulous Metro system to get around and it is easy to use. We walked every day until our feet were ready to fall off and saw as much as we could but we just couldn’t see it all.

Here are some of the highlights we did while in DC:

• Spy Museum
• Museum of Engraving & Printing (Money)
• East Market on Sunday (Flea Market/Farmers Market)
• Air & Space Museum
• Double Decker Bus (Red Line & Blue Line gave us an overview of everything in DC & Arlington, VA)
• American History Museum
• Smithsonian Castle
• Lunch @ the American Indian Museum (Great place for lunch)
• Metro Station
• White House
• Capital
• Strolled around Georgetown

I could go on and on about how much there is to do and see. You cannot see it all in 10 days.

On our second weekend Denise surprised us with a train trip to New York to visit our granddaughter, Dani, who is going to the Fashion Institute to study to be a Fashion Merchandiser. She is 20 years old and just moved there a month ago and is loving school and the city. We are so proud of her and the goals she is setting for herself and her future.

Me, Larry and Denise arrived Saturday, in New York, at 12:30 PM and Dani was waiting outside of Penn Station for us. Tom surprised us by being here too. We stayed at the beautiful Marriott Marquis. Larry and I felt like we got the best room of all. We were on the 36th floor which overlooked the Hudson River. That evening when we went to bed we left the drapes opened because we had a spectacular view of the city and river with no obstructions in the way.

Here are the highlights of our stay in NY:

• Lunch at Madison Park
• Century 21 Building (Shopping at a discount!!!)
• In the evening we walked the Highline (Train tracks no longer being used turned into a wild flower and plant oasis)
• Dinner in the Meat Packing District
• Sunday Brunch

We left New York on Sunday at 2:00 PM on the train to DC while Tom flew back home to California. We arrived in DC and dropped our luggage at the apartment at around 6:00 PM and went out to dinner in Arlington. We then headed back to the apartment to pack and prepared to leave the next morning at 7:00 AM for our 9:00 AM flight back to Santa Maria and reality.

We were back at work on Tuesday a little tired but with lots of wonderful memories.

While our travel and sleeping quarters were taken care of via Denise and Tom we did plan and saved money for our trip, this enabled us to enjoy our trip without using our credit cards.

I am ready and excited to bring you more ideas and reasons to keep the romance in your marriage.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2012, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

Do you have a blended family? How are you handling the discipline issues in your household? Do you find you and your husband argue a lot over how you should discipline the kids. Do you find the children trying to manipulate you or your husband because they want their life to be the way it used to be? They want Mom & Dad together not a step-mom or step-dad in their lives.

When blended families come together it isn’t always the happy togetherness you both had envisioned. The today show talks about the importance of communication between you and your sweetheart. Sitting down and setting rules ahead of time on how you will handle disciplining each other’s children.

Dana Points, editor-in-chief, of Parent Magazine and psychologist, Michelle Callahan, marriage expert and author of Ms Typed were on the Today Show and they bring up some good points on how to handle these issues.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Our daughter, Denise, married a wonderful man who had 2 children from a previous marriage and when she married him he had legal custody of both. She not only fell in love with Tom but his children too.

When she came into their lives she never required them to call her mom because she respected they already had a mom. If they would have chosen to call her mom and did so that would have been OK for her too. I think it is important to allow the children to decide what they want to call the step parent. Tom’s 2 children are grown now and they love and look to Denise as their second Mom.

Showing respect for each other is one of the most important things when living in a blended family.  If you and your spouse stand strong together as a couple the kids won’t be able to cause some of the issues blended families have.
Don’t forget to make time for each other; it will be easier to remember why you fell in love with your sweetheart. You both will be able to deal with whatever the kids may try.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2011, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

I talked to a friend recently and wanted to tell you about her and her husband. Names have been changed to keep their privacy. Tanya and her Husband, Michael, have been married for approximately 12 years. They have 3 children which keep them busy with school, sports practice and weekend games, along with doing things as a family. Tanya and Michael both work fulltime. They are a couple passing each other in the hall. No romance, no companionship, just work and children.  No Fun!

As Tanya started to talk she started to open up to me more and more. Apparently, they are thinking of separating. They are both asking each other “Where is the Love”? Tanya in particular is very unhappy and wants out. They have tried counseling but only went for a short while, not long enough to help them make this very important decision not only about themselves but also for their children.

Tanya and Michael are arguing a lot and the children are beginning to notice it and feel the tension surrounding their marriage.  As we talked, Tanya confided in me that last year she had an affair with someone else but it was over now. Michael only knows she was attracted to someone else but she told him nothing ever happened. She said for her to have the affair there had to be something wrong with her marriage already. I agree with her. You typically don’t have an affair unless there is something missing in the relationship.

It is my personal belief if the marriage isn’t working then maybe you do need to get a divorce but you need to at least try counseling and not only for 6 weeks. What I heard from Tanya is a hurting woman who feels very guilty about having the affair so now she is looking at Michael and seeing all his faults to make her feel better. Isn’t it easier to see all your spouse’s faults and have a reason for why you had the affair? I feel Tanya needs to forgive herself before she can move forward and try to make her marriage work. What do you think? Before you can move forward with a huge decision of disrupting not only a marriage but the lives of 3 children who love their father and mother very much, don’t you think they deserve to seek counseling longer than 6 weeks? Mistakes happen let it go!

I hurt for both of them but most importantly their children. My concern is one day Tanya is going to wake up and say “Oh, my God, what did I do?” I had a loving husband and children whom I love very much and I did something I knew was wrong but didn’t try to find out why or how could I fix it. I had a loving husband who wasn’t perfect but neither am I.

Yes, Tanya was wrong in having an affair but none of us is perfect. Tanya needs to find a way to forgive herself without telling her husband (She doesn’t need to hurt him too) and see if they both can make this marriage work. After several months of counseling both private and together they still feel their marriage isn’t working then get a divorce, at least they tried.

What is your opinion? Have you ever had an affair? How did you handle it? Has your spouse ever had an affair? Are you still together? Let me know your thoughts and opinion.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

Need help with cooking for romance, relationship or travel ideas? Then go to my Surprise Kiss Store above and click on the tab to see the authors I like to read and games that are fun to play with your sweetheart.

© 2011, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful mother’s out there!

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

Need help with cooking for romance, relationship or travel ideas? Then go to my Surprise Kiss Store above and click on the tab to see the authors I like to read and games that are fun to play with your sweetheart.

© 2011, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

It’s Friday night and the weekend is here! YA!!! You are looking forward to the weekend and a couple of days off with the family. There are games to attend and a party with friends on Saturday night. Sunday is church with the kids and then maybe a family gathering. I’m tried just thinking about it. In a world were we are all over extended with work, kids, friends and family. How do you find the energy to not only have a quiet moment with your own thoughts let alone find the time to be alone with your sweetheart? And we haven’t even gotten to the question of how do we get in the mood for some romantic intimacy? No wonder couples grow apart and feel like they are living with their brothen though it is difficult to find a quiet moment to be with your sweetheart alone, there are ways to make it happen and have fun together. And it won’t cost you a dime. When you get home after work tonight plan on playing a game that only you two can play. After dinner with the family and the kids are in bed or if they are a little older have them watch a new CD they been beginning to see. You could even invite a couple of their friends for a sleepover and then you should be guaranteed they won’t bother you.

Go into your bedroom and turn on the music, pour a glass of wine, beer or a cup of hot chocolate and play a game together. Now I am not talking about just any game. I want you to play Scrabble but it won’t be your ordinary Scrabble Game] you are use to. You find words that are sexual in nature or loaded with innuendos. This should get you both laughing and more in the mood than you have been in a long time considering your schedules!

It really doesn’t take a lot of money or time to feel connected with your sweetheart. All you need to do is make little special moments happen that help you feel connected. And a little game of Scrabble can do just that. Most importantly, your husband or wife will feel like your lover not your bother or sister.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2011 – 2012, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

Let the love you have for each other show. Your children are watching. Keep saving $5 a week for your romantic getaway.

Keep those sparks flying!

JoJo

Need help with cooking for romance, relationship or travel ideas? Then go to my Surprise Kiss Store above and click on the tab to see the authors I like to read.

© 2011, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

Friday is here and the weekend is ahead of you with two full days enjoying family and friends. You want to carve out some time with your sweetheart and reconnect. Both of you are trying to figure out the best time you can do this. With your children’s games and commitments to meet with friends for dinner you’re not sure how you can find any private time this weekend. How do you make time when you are overbooked?

Have you thought about scheduling your babysitter an hour earlier so you can go out for a cup of coffee before you meet with your friends? Or perhaps you can schedule an hour at the beginning of the week. Hire your favorite babysitter and go for a walk. Don’t forget to hold hands, put your arms around each other. Did you know when you walk together your heart will beat in sink with each other? Talk about connection!

These little weekly connections are so important for your marriage, even if it is only an hour. Talk about the kids, your week, issues you need to address together. You are a team and if you don’t take the time to connect and discuss things together you will both feel like you are taking care of the family and your marriage alone. How can you feel like a team in this marriage if you don’t try to connect weekly?

Grab your sweetheart, grab an hour and reconnect, your marriage will grow with love and respect knowing you can both work through anything together. That is what a good marriage is made of.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2011, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.