Surprise Kiss

Archive for November, 2009

Last week I was having lunch with a friend and we were talking about my website. She has been married for many years. John and Lorraine are very much in love. She mentioned that like me she likes to surprise her husband all the time and then she proceeded to tell me something she had done a few years back for her husband. Her idea was so cute, funny and full of love that I asked her if I could share it with you.

One evening she decided she was going to make John the best dinner he had ever had. She knew he would love it and would request it for years to come. It would be delicious. But first she needed to go to the grocery store. She made her grocery list of everything she would need and after purchasing everything she ran home and started to get things ready.

Lorraine made arrangements for the kids to stay at the neighbors for the evening. The kids were all excited because they would get to spend the night with their friends and watch movies and play games with them all night.

Once the kids were gone she set the table and hopped into the shower and got ready before John got home.  When he walked into the door he called out to her “Honey I’m home!” She yelled back I’m in the kitchen. He walked into the kitchen and she had the first course on the table. Lorraine looked up at him and said I made a great salad for you and I’m the dressing. You see Lorraine had put salad greens all around the edge of the table and she was sitting in the middle of the table with nothing on but her birthday suit!

Her husband loved it and had a big smile on his face. Let’s just say they had a cornucopia of love that evening. I am sure this was the best dinner he has ever had and will never forget it.

This was such a creative way of showing your love to your special someone. Why not try something similar? If you don’t want to do it on the table put a picnic blanket down on the floor by the fireplace and lay the salad around the edge of the blanket. You’re having a picnic and serving the salad as the main course and of course you are the dressing.

Lorraine and John have a great marriage and it is because of the creative things they do together. So why not mix up a salad and have a cornucopia of love tonight with your spouse. How delicious!!!

*Please note names have been changed to protect this couple’s identity and do not represent the names of anyone I may or may not know.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2009 – 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

Last week I gave you an assignment everyday, Tuesday through Friday.

Please see:

• 11/3/09 Lost that Loving Feeling?
• 11/4/09 Imperfection is Perfect for Us
• 11/5/09 For the Love of a Kiss
• 11/6/09 Loving You

I told you to give it to your partner that weekend or to choose a special time that you would like to hand it to them. I am planning to give mine on Thanksgiving. If you haven’t given your “Loving You” list to your spouse then you could add this to it or you could use this as a discussion after they have read the package. Or maybe you would like to do this separately like on a date night.

This is something my husband and I do once every few years. We like to reminisce about the good times and the bad times. We look back and say we survived in spite of everything that has happened. Yes, some things weren’t very pleasant but there were good things that happened to us too. So why not sit back have a cup of coffee at your favorite coffee house and reminisce.

Talk about:

• Funny little things that have happened to you together and with the kids
• Difficult times you have had together and with the kids but got through them together
• All the good times you have had together and with the kids

You won’t believe the extra connection you will have looking back and then saying we got through it together in spite of everything. Also it is important to look at all the wonderful and funny things that have happen between you two. So go ahead and get the extra credit for the extra connection. You will be able to say we stood strong as a couple! Life has its ups and downs but aren’t you glad you have someone special beside you? Doesn’t it feel good to known you are both there to walk beside each other and hold each other up when you need help?

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2009 – 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

I want to tell you about a couple who loved each other very much but had never gone away for their anniversary. They had been married for 18 years! One day I was telling Cynthia about how I would put away $5.00 a week and that I would save $260.00 in one year. I also told her how much fun it was to go away and pay cash for our romantic weekend and the beautiful places we would stay at.

At that time I was actually collecting money from a few couples and when it was their anniversary I would hand them their envelope with the $260.00 and the dates written every time they handed me their $5. I would wrap it up with a French ribbon and give them a happy anniversary card and a bottle of wine.

Cynthia loved the idea and immediately handed me her $5 and I would call her every week to remind her to send me her money. I told her to make reservations at the inn she wanted to stay at six months in advance. Their anniversary arrived and a couple of days before they were to leave for their romantic trip Cynthia and I met for lunch. I handed over her envelope and wished her a wonderful weekend with her husband.

When she came back from her trip she called to tell  me thank you for telling her about the importance of taking time out to be together as a couple and celebrate their wedding anniversary. You see Cynthia and Tom have two boys and both work fulltime. Tom works nights and Cynthia works days and they pass each other in the hall saying “Good Morning and Good Night” as one would come home and the other was leaving for work.

Tom and Cynthia decided to go to Pacific Grove per my recommendations and stayed at our favorite little inn. It was shortly after 9/11 and I thought for sure they would decide not to go away but to my surprise they kept their reservations and went anyway. It rained most of the weekend but she told me it was perfect for them. They sat by the fireplace in their room and talked and talked and talked. They talked about their goals, love for each other and the boys. Tom brought a book of poems and had tagged the ones he wanted to read to her and he got her a box of magnetic alphabets that they could put on the refrigerator and write notes to each other and the boys. They even walked in the rain!

Cynthia told me they didn’t realize what they had been missing and that they would go away for their anniversary from now on. I didn’t need to collect their money ever again. They understood the importance of reconnecting with each other at least once a year. As a matter of fact I just got off the phone with her and they were coming back from an impromptu little getaway to San Francisco this weekend. I was asking her how long Tom and her have have been married and she told me 26 years!

Every year around their anniversary I love hearing about where Tom and Cynthia are planning on going to celebrate their special day. There is a big smile on her face and mine because we know they are keeping the romance in their marriage.

If you want a loving relationship like Tom and Cynthia keep saving $5.00 a week!

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2009 – 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

Last Monday I drove down to visit a good friend in Ojai, CA. Sheri and Kevin had recently moved there and I wanted to visit her and see their new place. Ojai is a quaint little town about 2 hours South of where we live.

Once I got to Sheri’s place (made one wrong turn and started to drive into the mountains) she mentioned that her brother and sister-in-law and her mother and husband were all planning on visiting her & Kevin for Christmas. Since there was no room for both couples at her place she asked me if I would like to drive by a couple of inns in town. Of course I said YES! She was planning on just driving by the inns but I told her that we should stop and ask to see a couple of the rooms. She was surprised that we could do this. I proceeded to tell her that my husband and I did this all the time.

We looked at four inns but one stood out above the rest. It is called Su Nido Inn. It is walking distance to art galleries, Libbey Bowl/Park, book stores, shopping and fine dining. They have nine one and two bedrooms beautifully decorated in the Mission Revival décor. There are fireplaces, soaking tubs, small kitchen and patios, King Beds, AC, hi-speed internet, LCD TV, and complimentary snacks. The entrance to all the rooms is through a beautiful courtyard.

The receptionist, Sherri, was friendly and very informative about the inn and Ojai. Since it was an early Monday afternoon and quite, she showed us seven of the nine rooms. They are all decorated differently and beautifully appointed. The rooms range in price from $159 to $489. Prices vary depending on whether or not it is on the weekend or weekday and if you are getting a one or 2 bedroom. Weekends, of course, is a little higher.

Here is the breakdown on staying at the inn for one night. I choose to stay Sunday night in the Quail Room for $159.

Quail Room        $159.00
Room Tax 10%       15.90
Total                  $174.90

Weekend expense:  You saved $260.00 – 174.90 = $85.10

You have $85.10 for dinner! Please note there is a cancellation policy and breakfast is not served at the inn.

If you are looking for a quite romantic getaway you and your spouse may want to stay at the Su Nido Inn. I am thinking about surprising my husband with reservations there. Check out their website: www.SuNidoInn.com.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2009 – 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

Be the guiding light for your marriage by saving $5 a week.

Keep those sparks flying!

JoJo

© 2009 – 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

It is Friday and the last day of your four assignments. Today I want you to write a love letter.  Tell your spouse that over the last three days you have written three different lists on what you love about them. Then proceed to tell them how much you love them and wanted them to know it. With working, kids, soccer game, dance classes and just being overscheduled you wanted to stop and say I love you. It doesn’t have to be very long because you have already written about your love for them, just something to explain why and what you have done.

Then put the four assignments in this order and package it up nicely:

• Love Letter
• List of why you love your partner – See “Lost that Loving Feeling” – 11/3/09
• List of what makes your marriage special – See “Imperfection is Perfect for Us – 11/4/09
• List of your favorite kisses from your spouse – See “For the Love of a Kiss” – 11/5/09

You could give this tomorrow, (Saturday), or wait for a special occasion like your anniversary, birthday, Thanksgiving or Christmas. I plan on giving mine on Thanksgiving to let my husband know how thankful I am to have him by my side. I will probably put it on his pillow in the evening while he is taking a shower and let him read it by himself. I can already tell you he probably won’t say a word to me but will show me how much he appreciated it by the little things he does. This is who my husband is and I love him just the way he is.

You may want to just hand over your love package to your partner and watch him as he reads it. It is what ever makes you and your partner comfortable. No matter how it is done I can guarantee you will both feel closer for doing this and your spouse will feel more love than they have felt in a long time and so will you. If you followed my instructions about reading what you have written it will reinforce the feelings you have for your spouse. The feelings will be very similar to what your spouse is feeling. Remember those who give receive so much more than the receiver.

There are some people out there who will get upset after they have spent all this time writing their lists and love letter  and will get mad because their spouse didn’t respond the way they expected. My attitude is “Oh, please get over youself!” This isn’t about you it is about your partner and how special they are. Let them feel good and let them react the way they feel comfortable in responding. After all it is about them and how special they are.

If you continue to look at the positive side of your relationship imperfection will be perfect for you!

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2009 – 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

Remember when you were first dating and the first kiss you received from your husband? I remember mine. I was only 16 and he was only 17, we were standing in the kitchen and there was no one there but my boyfriend and me. He leaned forward and gave me a kiss. It was magical. I hadn’t expected it and it was only a stolen moment for fear someone would walk in. Little did I know at that time he would become my husband a few years later.

I did get an opportunity to date other guys while in high school but I always came back to my husband because he let me be me.  Also, I liked his kisses. He was not the jealous or possessive type and I was smart enough to know I needed my space and someone who would allow that. Which is an unusual trait for two young kids in their teens.

Kisses are quite pleasurable and I feel we have lost the value of the kiss with today’s changing social values for romance. Well, I am here to change that and have you look at the simple little kiss.

Make a list of all the kisses you like from your husband:

The pleasure of your kiss

1. What was your first kiss like from your spouse?
2. Where do you like to be kissed when you are making love?
3. What is your favorite kind of kiss? (Mine is when we are laughing)
4. Do you appreciate the spontaneous kiss? Why?
5. Do you have a moment that you think about often when your spouse gave you a kiss? Describe it. Why was it so memorable?

Continue adding to the list as the week progresses. Don’t share it yet! Let me leave you with this quote:

“I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth”  Chico Marx

So whisper in your partner’s mouth all the sweet love you have for them. What a kiss that could be!

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2009 – 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

Have you ever stopped to look at your marriage and what makes it special compared to others? Have you even thought about your marriage as a “couple”? Or when the word marriage is brought up do you think about it singularly? 

As for me I expect my marriage to be imperfect and constantly changing but I do choose to look at it in its own perfect way. Do you look at all those beautiful TV and movie stars and how happy they look and wished that you could look and be as happy as they are? They are all dressed to perfection and have those beautiful smiling faces and money galore. Did you ever notice how many TV and movie stars get a divorce? Perfection is maybe not so perfect after all.

In my mind we have a perfect marriage with all its imperfections. We don’t look like movie stars, we are not even in the best shape but we love and respect each other with all our differences. We are just an average couple like you and your partner.  Recently while we were out of town and staying in a hotel there was an incident that happened to us I would like to tell you about. It was in the morning and we had pushed the button for the elevator to come up. There we were standing arm in arm waiting for the elevator. The door opened and we got in and there was another couple with kids in there too. The door closed and proceeded to go down to the first floor. When we walked in the elevator we had put our arm around one another like before and the wife smiled at us and said “Oh, look their on their honeymoon!” My husband and I smiled back and I said: “Yes, for 42 years!” You should have seen the shocked looked on their faces. I also said: “You can be the same way too, if you get away once in a while by yourselves as a couple too.” Now to that couple our marriage looked perfect. For my husband and me we know it is not! Imperfection is perfect for us.

Today your assignment is to take a look at your imperfect marriage in a perfect way that suites you as a couple.

List below what makes your marriage stand out from all your friend’s marriages:

My special marriage!

• What makes your marriage special?
• What makes your friends envious of your marriage?
• What are the fun things you have done together as a couple? (It can be as simple as going for a walk on the beach, (my favorite thing), hike in the mountains, concert, etc)
• Write down how you both got through a difficult time together and came out on top together.
• What makes you as a couple great parents
• When your children are grown and you and your husband have passed on what is it you want your children to say about your marriage?

Keep adding to the list. I would like to see a nice long list of all the wonderful things about your marriage and as a couple. It may be an imperfect marriage but perfect for the two of you. It is unique! Not like your friends, family or mine. Read this list and the one you made about your spouse for the rest of the week. Don’t share it yet!

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2009 – 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

Want to fall back in love with you spouse again? After being married for several years have you lost that “loving feeling”? Do you wonder to yourself why you married your partner or do you feel like you are married to your brother or sister? Is the spark gone and you don’t know how to get it back?

This week I am going to help you look at your marriage a little differently. Everyday you will be given an exercise that you will need to complete. Then on the weekend I want you to give it to your spouse. You may want to see if your spouse would like to participate along with you. There are some spouses who won’t want to do this exercise and that is OK. Don’t get all bent out of shape just because they don’t want to participate. (My husband would have a hard time doing this.) Go ahead and complete everything I ask you to do and it should make a difference in how you and your spouse look at your marriage.

Marriages do have their ups and downs and it is the committed couples who stay together through these periods. My husband and I have seen plenty of them and will probably see more to come but we are committed to each other. We give each other the space sometimes needed to work through those difficult times. Sometimes I look at my husband and wonder how I could have married that person but I am glad to say it isn’t too often. I know my husband probably feels the same way on occasions too. We have chosen not verbalize it to each other. Why make your spouse miserable just because you are?

I do realize there are times when you do need to address a specific issue. Then by all means please do let your partner know you are unhappy about something but don’t bring up every little thing you don’t like about your partner.  It is not good for your relationship.

One of the surefire ways to feel connected to your spouse even during the difficult times is to choose to always look at your spouse in a positive way. Look at the things he does for you and appreciate it. For example my husband always makes sure my car is gassed up. When I am down he is there to pull me up. He takes the time to listen to me. If I am down he’ll take me on a little walk or we will hop into the car and go for a walk on the beach.

I could choose to look at the negative aspects of our marriage. Like my husband doesn’t like to dance and I do. What I like to tell people is “if that is the only complaint I have then I really don’t have anything to complain about.” Or I could choose to concentrate on how he is an introvert and I am an extrovert but I choose to look at it differently. He keeps me grounded and I bring a lot of spice and interest in his life.

So why not choose to look at your marriage in a different way. Choose to only look at the positive side of your spouse.  Make a list of:

How do I love you let me count the ways!

• Why did you fall in love with your partner?
• What makes you love your spouse now?
• What are the good things your spouse does for you?
• How does he fill a need in your life?
• Name the things you like to do with your partner. (gardening, dancing, kissing, sitting close together, etc)

Add to the list as the week progresses. I personally don’t believe in writing the bad things because then you are only reinforcing the negative feelings about your marriage. Keep your list positive and look at it every day. Don’t share it yet.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2009 – 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

Saving $5 a week unlocks the happiness formula in your relationship!

Keep those sparks flying!

JoJo

© 2009 – 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.