Surprise Kiss

Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Hope you have a very enjoyable and Happy Thanksgiving with your family. Most importantly you will find the time and energy to have a very romantic Thanksgiving with your sweetheart. If you didn’t get a chance to read my blog on Wednesday you can read it now “Thank You Baby!” And you will be thanking me too!

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

Do you have teenage children? Are they driving you a little crazy and you can’t agree with your spouse on how to handle a particular situation with your teen? I remember those days well. Larry sometimes would be very upset about something our daughter had done and I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. And then there were the times I was upset and he wasn’t. Do you argue in front of the kids until you find a solution? We found a way to come to an agreement without our daughter hearing us. How did we do it?

It was our daughter’s responsibility to clear the dishes and put them in the dishwasher after dinner. That’s when we would go for a walk and argue it out. There were no ears to hear and she couldn’t play us against each other. It was good not only for our relationship but it was good for our health too. If we were really upset about something she had done we would walk really fast.

As we walked we would talk about how a situation should be handled. There were times when one of us felt we needed to be hard on her and after discussing it the other would say you are right it’s not that important and then there were times after a discussion we would agree together we were not happy with her. These walks taught us how to pick our battles with what was really important in raising our child.

When we walked back in the door we would stand strong together. She had a hard time pushing our buttons. What she got was a strong mother and father who didn’t let her go between them. She knew when she was in trouble and there was no getting out of it. She was taught responsibility for her actions which has turned her into a responsible and productive adult today.

So the next time you and your husband aren’t agreeing on how the children should be raised go for a walk and work it out. Your children will thank you latter in life and you will keep the sanity in your marriage.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

Are you and your spouse stressed out from the daily grind of work and responsibilities of life? Spend some time outside. Did you know just spending time outside can increase the production of endorphins, which can help you feel less stressed.

After dinner don’t sit down and just jell out. Get up and take a walk with the whole family and watch the sunset. No phones or technology allowed during your walk. It is amazing how sunsets are daily occurrences and we don’t even stop to look at them. We are always in such a rush to get things done.

Make it a point to hold hands with your sweetheart and watch the sunset tonight with the whole family while you take a walk. If the children want to hold your hand too, make them grab the hand that is free. Don’t release your hand from your spouse. Your children need to see and feel the strength of your marriage.

Walking together and watching the sunset will help to relax the whole family and will bring everyone closer to each other. It gives everyone an opportunity to talk with none of the distractions of TV, video games or texting.

When you walk back into your home you will all feel a relaxing glow from watching a sunset together that will last until the next day!

*Don’t forget to pickup the items I wrote about on Sept 29th called “Spice Up Your Holidays” for a very romantic Halloween and Christmas!

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo
10/14/10

© 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

I get asked a lot if I ever use the money I have been saving for our anniversary on other things? The answer is “On occasion I will use it for something else.” I try to keep it for only our anniversary but there are times when we have had to use it for an emergency purchase or something we felt was more important than going away for our romantic rendezvous.

There are times when we need cash right now and the only spot we are willing to pull from is our little stash. When I pull the money out of our savings I will put a big post-it-note on my calendar saying how much money I pulled and will try to put back the amount back as soon as possible but there are times when I can’t.

Last year we chose to spend less on our anniversary by booking a hotel on Priceline for $50 and spent the rest to purchase a new ceiling fan we wanted for the den. Or there was the year I had saved over $700 so we could go to a very expensive inn in Sonoma, CA for our anniversary but chose to do something different with it.

The company I worked for had a company get together at Disneyland for the weekend. We got to go to Disneyland and California Adventure for Larry and me paid by the company. Also they were able to get discounts at all the all the Disneyland hotels. Well Larry and I decided to bring our two youngest grandchildren with us. I talked to Larry and asked him if he would mind if we used our money to stay at the Disneyland’s Grand California Hotel and Spa with the grandkids. He said sure.

We all had a wonderful time with the grandkids and going to both theme parks and we got to stay at the most expensive and elegant hotel Disneyland offers in Anaheim.  Even the grandkids enjoyed staying there. Our grandson at the time was about 15 years old and commented on how nice the hotel and rooms were. You could tell he appreciated we stayed there.  Our grandson is 20 years old now and recently he commented on how special it was to stay at Disneyland’s Grand California Hotel and Spa. He knew we had chosen to spend our anniversary money on them instead.

The moral to the story is, don’t feel bad if you chose to use your money for something different than what it was intended for. If you have to pull out money for an emergency or want to spend it on something else then go ahead and do it. Just make sure you don’t do to every year. Try to put the money back if you can or do like we did and have an enjoyable anniversary but on a smaller budget.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

There is a website that allows you to store your family memories on your own website for free! You and your family and friends can share photos, videos, messages, announcements. You can choose to keep it private or you can choose to make it public. It is up to you.

The website is called Genevine.com. You can send a message to your entire family, be reminded of a family member’s birthday or plan an event and see who is coming. It is an easy safe way to keep in touch with family and close friends everywhere.

You could setup the website with your family helping. This would be a fun thing to do on a rainy day or when it is too hot to go out and play. Everyone could sit around the computer and help decide what photos they want to put up on your family website. It is a fun and easy way to help your children feel connected and make them feel good about the family. They will be looking at pictures of themselves along with their siblings and see the smiling faces in those pictures.

Did you know when you look at snapshots from birthdays, weddings and vacations you are revisiting them again. All the fun and funny things that happened in the photos can mirror the same emotions you had while the picture was being taken. So bring the family closer together and have fun building your own website for just your family and close friends to view.

Genevine.com also has a premium website for a minimal monthly fee. It will allow you to have unlimited photos, videos, messages, links, events and more. You can cancel at anytime.

Bring your family closer by deciding to have your own private website where you can interface with other family members no matter where they live. You choose who you want to be able to see your website. All you need to do is sign up and invite loved ones to view your page and add their own messages and mementos.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

Writing about the “Date Packet” yesterday made me think why not make a special pouch for other things too. So the rest of this week will be dedicated to how you can make your relationship and love life a little easier together by making little pouches to help you both continue to be a couple.

Today we will cover things that need to get done around the house but never do. Ladies maybe you would like to clean out a closet, paint a room or need help cleaning house. Men maybe you need help with cleaning out the garage, working on the lawn or washing the car. Each person finds 6 things they would like done this year and writes them down, folds it and puts it in another pouch of a different color.

Once a month take turns pulling out an item and completing it together. This could be a family project you do all together. You will be teaching your children how to work as a team and complete things. Again you are bringing anticipation, surprise and commitment to the family and completing something that is mundane and needs to get done.

Put on the music, sing, and dance and tease each other as you finish a project. And don’t forget to surprise each other with an occasional kiss! Once the project is done have a pizza, salad and soda delivered to the house. Throw in a DVD and watch a movie then serve ice cream at the end.

These will be special times you and the family will remember for years. You will be teaching your children not only how to work together but maybe a new skill they hadn’t done yet. Also, your children will learn the importance of helping family achieve goals and complete them in a fun way. There is a confidence children have when they learn new skills in a nonjudgmental environment and a closeness to family they can’t get when they are on the computer, watching TV alone, or on the phone talking or texting their friends. Most importantly, you and your spouse are teaching your children how to have a good marriage working and playing together.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

Sorry this is so late in getting posted. Life has been a little hectic around here and it has been difficult for me to blog everyday. Larry’s brother is very ill and was in intensive care for a week. We have taken Larry’s parents, who are both in their late eighties, down to San Fernando Valley twice last week. On a good day it is a 2 ½ hour drive down to the hospital and on a bad day it can take us up to a 4 ½ hour drive one way.

Since we are the only family members who live in the same city as his parents we have become the go between on keeping everyone in the informed on how his parents are doing. Of course they are upset considering they are worried about their son and rightly so. My father-in-law is getting a little forgetful but that is to be expected after all he is 89. God bless him every so often we need to explain to him why his son is in the hospital. He understands what is going on he just needs to be reminded occasionally. My mother-in-law is 88 and is also getting a little forgetful but not as much as my father-in-law. She has osteoporosis very bad and is getting frail but refuses to accept she has limitations.

Recently we invited them to dinner at 4:00 and they showed up at 2:30 instead. We weren’t going to say anything but my mother-in-law asked where my mother was so I just told her they came over a little early. I didn’t say how early. I then went into my office and called mom and told her to come on over. Oh well, the best laid plans. Larry and I laughed later because luckily we were ready for them. Normally we are still running around the house picking up things and cooking dinner 5 minutes before they come.

Larry’s brother is out of intensive care and was able to go to his daughter’s home yesterday. He has not been feeling well for the last 9 months and has been at her home since then. Larry is the contact person for the rest of the family to let everyone know how their brother is doing and their parents. With his parents reasoning power just about gone it is creating a lot more stress and then like most people who are still employed the company is requiring more from him due to the economy.

Last Saturday after our 4 ½ hour drive home and we had dropped off his parents we went for a walk on the beach to just stretch our legs and unwind. The reason I am telling you about this is to remind you life once in a while throws you a left curve. It is important you and your spouse find little moments when just the two of you can relax alone. Whether it is a walk on the beach, a walk in your local park or around the block take time to be together, to support and love each other. Those little quite moments can help to make life a little easier and your relationship stronger.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

The daily stress of working, taking care of the kids and cooking dinner can seem like too much. So you are trying to decide what to have for dinner. You have forgotten to take something out of the freezer or you are just too tired to think let alone cook dinner.

Ladies, why not run to the grocery store and pick up a rotisserie chicken and a salad from the deli on your way home. Guys, you know your wife is under more stress than usual so why not offer to pick up dinner for them. Grab paper plats, sodas, blanket and the kids and go to the beach or park and have dinner basking in the last of the sun’s rays while enjoying your beautiful family. You will feel as if you are on vacation! Let the kids play on the swings and jungle bars while you and your spouse sit back and watch them.

After you have picked everything up and everyone is in the car stop by the local ice cream store and buy everyone an ice cream. Sit outside and watch the cars go by and ask each child how their day was and what they did. When you get home help each other bathe the kids and put them to bed.

When our daughter was small we would take a picnic dinner on the beach all the time and then go for a walk along the strand with her. These are the special times I remember more than the expensive dinners out with just my husband.

A while back a friend was complaining about how much stress she was under and I suggested when she and her husband got home to grab the kids and have a picnic dinner on the beach. She responded with it is a half hour away. I said so! I told her that her family would never forget the night in the middle of the week they went for a picnic on the beach. She took my suggestion and sure enough every so often when I see her she said her kids and her husband bring up how much fun they had. They now try to do it every so often.

Once the house is quiet and you have gotten ready for bed why not pour a small glass of wine or sparkling cider, light a candle and enjoy a little rest and relaxation together with soft music playing in the background. Find out what kind of day you both had. By the time you both put your heads down on the pillow you will feel more relaxed than when you first came home from work. You will have enjoyed your family and each other. Your children will feel a connection to you and the stability of your marriage.

So go ahead and take the night off in the middle of the week. Your marriage and children will thank you.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

Over Memorial Day Weekend my daughter received an email from a very good girlfriend telling her about a friend of hers and their family. Last Thursday the family was in a very bad accident. I remembered hearing about it on the news. The accident had blocked traffic for miles on the 101 heading north. They were all taken to the hospital and everyone spent the night. The next day the mother and her three children were released, all with broken bones. Two are in wheelchairs. The children’s ages are 2, 4 and 7. The father is still in entensive care and will be there for 3 to 4 weeks.

There is a website we found out about through this tragic accident and have been able to follow how the family is doing and where we can donate to help with their mounting medical expenses. It is called CaringBridge.org. Apparently a friend has been keeping a journal about the family.

CaringBridge is a nonprofit providing free websites that connect families and friends during a serious health event, care and recovery.

CaringBridge’s website helps families and friends stay informed. The author can add updates on the health of the person and photos uploaded on the website. Visitors can leave messages of love and support in the guestbook.

If you or someone you know is going through a serious health issue you may want to checkout CaringBridge.org’s website and make your own free website or donate to the company.

I hope your Memorial Day Weekend was a safe and healthy one for you and your family. Hearing about this family and their serious accident makes us all think about how lucky we are and how fast things can change. One moment you are happy and healthy and the next moment your life could change. Give your family a huge hug and kiss them. Always remember to tell them everyday how much you love and appreciate them.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.

What do you do when you don’t agree on how the children should be raised? Do you argue it out in front of the kids or do you go behind closed doors and yell at the top of your lungs, where everyone can hear what you are saying? Raising children can be tricky. Each child has their special personality and they each need to be handled differently. Then when you throw in divorce and children it gets more complicated. To top it all off, children do know how to play you both if you let them, before you know it they are in control not you.

Whether you have a blended family or not, children can be trying on your marriage at times. Sometimes it is difficult to agree on how a situation should be handled. When your children are little it is physical, you are either running after them or lifting them but as they get older it becomes more mental. Whatever stage your kids are in it is tiring. Teenagers are a whole different story. They are still kids and want to be treated as adults. They are still trying to find their way in this complicated world and as a couple you are there to guide them. What do you do when you don’t agree?

When our daughter became a teenager my husband and I found a way to discuss our differences by taking a walk. In the evening after dinner we would have our daughter clear the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher while we went for our nightly walk around the neighborhood. As our daughter grew older we found out her hearing was so much better when we didn’t want her to hear what we were talking about as compared to when we wanted her to listen to us. Our evening walks gave us an opportunity to discuss any issues that may have come up that we were concern about and discuss them without her hearing our differences. There were many times we didn’t agree on how a situation should be handled and as we walked we would work it out. Sometimes one of us felt we needed to come down hard and the other felt it wasn’t that important of an issue. We would walk and talk until we both came to an agreement. The times when we couldn’t come to an agreement the other would give in because one of us felt so strongly about it. We never kept track of who won an argument or who lost we found a way to respect each other and their concerns. One thing was for sure when we walked back into our home we stood strong together, she couldn’t play us against each other.

Find a way for you as a couple to work out your disagreements with raising your children without your children hearing you argue out your differences. Stand tall together, respect each other and your children will respect you. Walking may be just the thing you have been looking for in dealing with each child and how you need to handle a situation. I know walking was not only good for us as a couple but the madder we were the faster we walked. We were getting our exercise and working together to raise a healthy, productive adult in society.

Come together on raising your children. You will notice there will be less tension in the household and your children will be happier.

Keep those sparks flying!
JoJo

© 2010, Surprise Kiss. All rights reserved.